hello,

hahah so im back here blogging while waiting to take midas out later. anyway 3 more weeks left, and im gng back to dempsey to work this sat, honestly. i dont even know why i volunteered! what was i thinking? i have no idea. but it will be fine right. yes yes. if i continue telling myself that then maybe. i mean, honestly its not that bad, but i just cant really put into words why i wanted out of there so much.

anyway work this week has been alright lah, maybe i should learn to be less picky, slow like a tortoise and complain less. it will make the world a better place right?

to all those starting a's tmr, esp yu kexin, ALL THE BEST dear.

oh yes, went to ice skate today and it was quite fun! and other than that, this week has been pretty alright, meeting up with ppl i havent seen in awhile but k left on fri :( but okay 3 weeks will pass soon. but i hate this whole feeling of missing him lah.

hmm, since my blog hasnt had pics in awhile, i decided to not be lazy and upload them!














and of cos (:


haha okay im to have dinner now. bye bye ! 

recently, i have this phobia in me and i really didn't notice it existed until i had a mental melt down today. but i am fine now. just that it's jsut damn scary and all i know is that i'm not ready to go through another. i can't. not right now, or maybe never ever again in my life if i could.

so i'm gng to sleep now, really hoping and praying that things will be fine, more than anything i have ever wished for or hoped for.

Hello

hahaha okay im still up at the unearthly hour because its 2049 half way around the world where carms is now! and i just finished work at dempsey but work today with sher maira irah and tim was funnnnnn. hahah other than the initial parts! anyway carms just smsed me this morning saying this:

"The stars lean down to kiss you,
And I lie awake I miss you,
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly,
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'll send a postcard to you dear,
Cause I wish you were here."

hahah which is a song! but i still think the song's damn sweet! it makes me feel so warm and fuzzy.
love you carms, my snuggle buggle, my bestie :)

there's so much going on and to blog, but sometimes i cant really put into words what is happening! so i shall blog in detail another day.

Hello it's been awhile since I blogged but everything has been great so far la. As in its been tough and I'm still trying to adapt to some stuff and I really hope they will be nicer eventually.
Cos once again I'm dreading sat.

But small little things make up for it. Like meeting up when ppl come visit me at thomson for lunch (: like it really makes my day. Or having ppl visit when I'm working at rc or Demp. And of cos k, for being so sweet and just being there at the end of the day (: 

Finally met up with char today for lunch after not seeing her for so long! then wen down to rc and meiryl, sam, manda and kenneth came by! And work just now and on mon was great too! Like its been awhile since I had fun because I honestly never tght I would have fun at anywhere except gwc. Hmm i guess i just really really hope that things will be fine tmr! 8 more times only right. I can hang in there. 

Alright I'm gng to sleep now.  Goodnight  

hello

im damn tired now and i just got back from work.

i can't believe it's been a year since i officially joined bnj. and i really never ever thought i would stay past the first year because i never looked at it as smth permanent. i remember this time last year, my life was still pretty much all about c.

and it really does bring back memories of the silly things i used to do, the extent i used to go, just to be able to work or why i chose great world city in the first place. and how sad i would get over small little things sometimes! like looking back at it, it's really damn embarrassing! i have no idea wat i was thinking about back then! okay i shan't think about it anymore.

i remember hating the fact that i have to answer to why am i working at gwc cos everyone will be "that's very far!" but one year on, i can say that i have moved on, which is damn good lah cos it took me damnnnn long!

hmm going back to gwc to visit made me super nostalgic and made me realize that i miss you guys pretty much, and the friendships made are really irreplaceable (: going on the perth trip, free cone day, meeting up randomly, visiting each other even though we arent working, meeting for dinner, supper and just working tgt, is smth that like i never thgt would have happened. but yes im super thankful for each and everyone of you! okay maybe not everyone! and of cos the friendships made like with the other ppl who work at gwc too! (: you know who you are! 

but somewhere along this week, i realized that since i made that decision, no matter how hard it's, that i will be strong and just go through with it, and just make the best out of things.

=

anyway! work just now was not bad lah (: i was seriously dreading the whole week for sat to come, but it turned out to be one of the best days of this week. even though it was like damn packed! i served a vermonster! which was quite exciting! cos it's my second time only.

so thanks silly person, for the smallest things that you do to make things easier for me and just being the sweetest thing (: (:

"I just know that she warms my heart
And knows what all my imperfections are
And she says that I am the brightest little firefly in her jar"


haha i'm quite addicted to this song again all of a sudden again. alright im gng to sleeeeeep now. goodnight! 

so today was the first day of official internship and. i dunno im really having mixed feelings about it. especially the whole change in shops thing.

i dunno i wish you would just reply me to tell me how you really feel about it. yes, you there reading this. i know it's a surprise and i really didnt mean to act the way i did, but to me, your reply matters a lot to me because i need to know how you feel about it and like i really hope that somehow you're supportive about the whole matter and that you're okay about it? 

hmm maybe i should just go and sleep on it and maybe when i wake up tmr, it wont matter to me as much. i shall blog more tmr. night.

jenny peck, have a safe trip if youre reading this! (: (: and thanks meedas for saying "or ready" hahaha.

hello hello! 

so it's been a week since my papers ended and hols so far has been great lah. been just like catching up with people i havent met up with much lately and it has really made my week.

by just being able to see those familiar faces again and just talking, spending time with each other. it's simple things like that, that really makes me happy (:

anyway, as glad that i'm that papers are over, exams didn't go really well and i guess i can't help feeling like disappointed cos this is prob the first time i studied so damn much because that 30% really mattered. but then again, since results aren't out yet. i shouldnt like just assume that i wont do well right. shall just be optimistic about it.

hmmm, i feel like i've grown a lot emotionally this past few weeks. like everything that has happened has allowed me to look at things at a totally different perspective. thanks carms, tiff, dianna, jean, jayne, pau, jude, manda, iann, ben, kex, cherylpoo, melly moo for just being there to listen when i talk about it. (:

alright i shall go shower, skype and sleeeeeep. internship's starting next week and i'm not really looking forward to it lah.

so.. it's still quite hard to really come into terms about it. heart wrenching.

it's just so so sudden. that morning when i received a call telling me about it.  i couldn't help thinking it was a joke.

then it followed by endless questions of why. it's just hard to imagine that someone who i thought has always been so strong, cheerful, bubbly and happy could do something like that.

walking around school right now made me think, i'll never get to see you walking around. screaming my full name at the top of your voice as though you own the school, or to have you whack me damn hard just to say a hello.

it's times like this when it really makes me cherish things more in life. everything. and to just try to live in the moment.

i'm just really grateful that i got a chance to know you, and the memories that we shared will always always remain in my heart...

thanks for impacting my life in ways that mere words can't say. rest in peace, nicole. and i know that you are in a better place in heaven right now.

hellloooo


i've another entry in drafts i just realized cos i typed it half way and i'm too lazy to finish typing it and post it so i'll prob post it again soon.

anyway so yest was the last day of sch. it was quite bittersweet lah. like it was really kind of sad because it would mean i'm closer to graduation, having to make life changing decisions etc. and esp knowing that i'll only see the rest again after starting internship, which i'm totally dreading. i know that i've been whining non stop about it, and thanks so much for putting up with my nonsense but i figured that, yes maybe, i should just make the best out of it and just stop whining about it. because after all at least i'm mentally prepared as to what to really expect right? not that i am such a pessimist about things. but yeah. i realized as i grow older, somewhere along the way, i've learned that things arent always what it seems or that it might not turn out alright all the time. so there's always this part of me that tends to over analyze things and just try my best to avoid expecting too much from something/someone because the feeling of being disappointed/getting hurt by people that you treasure most hurts like shit.

and other things like, how much things can change so damn much in such a short span of time? like if you were to ask me one week ago, when you came and visit me at work, would i have tght that right now, we would have turned out this way, with you being so.. i dunno, i know that i'm probably being damn annoying and unreasonable, but i would have laughed it off, honestly. cos everything's just so sudden i guess. but like, right now, i'm kind of unsure about how to handle everything lah.. but i shall just see how things go.

hmmm. met tiff in the morning to study then mel and dianna came later on. and i'm damn full now, just went with jolene to surprise winner at her work place and the food was damn yummy and the company was really great as always (:

anyway back about talking about school, as much as like i'm kind of not looking forward to the end of it, i'm just really glad to be able to have a breather. i can't imagine wat 3.2's going to be like cos they keep saying that it's gonna be like 1000000x worst. or maybe it's just my inability to manage time when it matters the most lah. like we had short little breaks here and there but it was like at least one proj submission each week. but yeah was quite disappointed with the hr report esp since it was our last one. but we gave in our best right (: and wat matters most is that, at least we bonded as a group from the field trips and the hours spent at free access labs. and most importantly, we did our best.





thanks for making school funner and making long breaks in between feel 10000x more enjoyable. (:

anyway so i got my work shifts for next week alr, and i really hope i'll be able to use my time wisely and study. and i'm looking forward to tmrrrrr! (: okay goodnight! 

heyy


guess wat! im sick once again! its like a monthly thing now! i was sick exactly one month ago and i'm having a fever again. its rather annoying and i've decided to keep myself in my room just in case it's really h1n1 then i wouldn't like spread it to my family members because the last thing they really need right now is to fall sick! but i'm feeling a lot better alr compared to this mrng/last night! my temperature this mrng was like.. 39.5! it was quite scary lah. so i've been given mc that will cover me till fri.

anyway over the course of like, this month i've been making like quite a few decisions which are rather.. heart wrenching and hard to make. but i'm glad that through it all, although i can't say that i came out of each decision unscathed, it really does feel good to be finally free, with no obligations and not having to worry what would this person think if i do this, or that? 

"I want you to know, that it doesn't matter where we take this road, someone's gotta go. and i want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better but i want you to move on, so i'm already gone. " you know that no matter what, you'll still be my favourite boy and that i'm just really thankful that i have/had you. (:

alrights im gng to sleep now again. goodnight.

"Lucas: What do you want from me? I flied to LA, I asked you to marry me, you said 'no', so I moved on. Why haven't you?

Peyton: 'Cause I should have said 'yes'. Luke, I was young, and I was scared, and I did not realize that by saying 'I wasn't ready', it would mean that we would never be together again. Had I known that I would have said 'yes'.

Lucas: Peyton..

Peyton: No, Luke, I miss you every day. And I have told everyone here that I didn't come back for you but I did. Of course I did. I still love you, Lucas.


Lucas: I never meant to hurt you

Brooke: that doesnt really matter because in the end, it all hurts the same"


hello. haha okay so random to post a whole bunch of quotes from one tree hill all of a sudden but i've been watching a little bit here and there with carms and iann these few days and carms the silly one kept making me using pen and paper to copy down! and when i can't copy fast enough she'll start screaming or when i really do copy it down, she'll be like oh what word's this? when i kept telling her it can be found on  the internet. haha okay fine shan't laugh at her anymore. but i love you still lah, for cancelling your shifts last week and just bugging me 24/7. haha.

anyway i'm gng to cheesecake cafe soon to eat with jolene though i just had dinner but i'm quite full alr. and these few days, i have no idea why ppl have been asking me about my erm preference for ppl! it's rather amusing really. ask me again about my girlfriend and i'll punch your face. haha no lah kidding. but yes for the record, i'm pretty straight lah (: 

today was our final kelly session and it was pretty sad, but oh wells. anyway exams are coming real soon, and i'm damn glad like there's only hr proj left! for the past few weeks, it has been totally draining with 1 or 2 submissions each week.

oh and i worked on mon and tues! mon made me realize that.. after erm damn long. since sec 3, i can officially say that i'm pretty over it alr lah.. (: at least for now! okay i know i said that after the whole fcd incident. but really! 

worked with manda! i think im damn used to working with her alr lah. and on tues, THANKS JENNY PECK FOR GIVING UP YOUR SHIFT FOR ME (: must type in caps you know. if not i'm sure you can't see. see thank me, it was a win win situation cos you got to meet up with your frens for dinner! but yes i owe you one lah. cos i got to work with pebbs! i miss working with her and it was fun lah. alright i should prob get gng now (: bye bye! 

"everytime you walk away or run away you take a piece of me with you."

haha that sweet thing told me that this morning. anyway this week has been rather horrible but yet great? meeting up with sb, iann (: , carms, nik, sim, meiryl and the ppl at sch definitely made it x10000 better. and also celebrating sb's birthday on sunday. finally got to like catch up with them after quite long. hmmm i realized i can always count on ikea meatballs to cheer me up when i'm down. haha which makes me sound like some pig. but yeah.

tmr's sun yanzi's concert! like finally after so many weeks/months of talking about it. and till now i still can't believe that i'm gng for it. but i'm really quite excited! it's my first time gng for a chinese concert, ever! and felly was hilarious today! asked me to write sun yanzi's name on the mask which i should wear since there's h1n1 arnd and a lot of ppl there.

oh and i think winner and myself can be photocopy aunties alr, i think the amount of time we spent in front of the bloody machine this week might just amount to a grand total of prob 4-5hours. nope, not kidding. we spent like nearly 2-3 hours today! it was quite hilarious sorting out the papers with bernie today. after that i went over to carms to rest and talk. then headed down to rc to meet nik and that retard! we spent forever waiting for a seat at soup spoon and some annoying ppl stole our seats. but oh wells. then we walked arnd and i waited for meiryl to finish work (:

anyhow, i really dont know how i'm gonna survive the next few months. when internship starts. yes i know politics is everywhere and like its naive to think that there's no such thing as like a 100% peaceful environment but i really wish like things will be simpler? and also, how am i gonna survive when carms leaves! and also like the whole ongoing situation right now.. argh. sometimes i really wish things were easier. like i wish i was younger or smth, cos i seem to worry about more trival things back then. but i guess that's just part of growing up? hmm i have no idea really. but the whole talk about unis, what you wanna do in future, what do you think is your purpose in life. and how like, i SHOULD know what i wanna do since i'm like gonna graduate alr and yet i have no clue? okay i'm just blabbering nonsense i realized. alright i shall go sleep soon (: night

hello


im blogging today so that i can remember the decision that i made today and that i'm really gonna stick by it no matter what happens and also to say how excited i am about TMR (: (: i wish i could go to the airport to fetch my favourite boy. but at least i'll be meeting him after! (: 

alright i'm going to sleep soon and update about whats been happening soon. it's been rather crazy with all those project submissions! alright goooddddnight.

heyyyyyy


hahaha i just realized my previous post was not posted under public, somehow, so i decided to change the settings. so weird. anyway. i went to the zooooo today for events report! and it was quite tiring! like its been awhile since i walked so much. thanks dianna, shaun and mel for like going altogether (: i swear i can still smell the animal smell even after showering. anyway i met up with meiryl after that (:

yest, was perankan musuem for sit report, with felly, wan ting, fiona and peizhen! before meeting up with maria at gwc then going to work! amanda was super hilarious as usual and bry came down (: oh and i had a near death experience last night. like really, for the split second, i really tght i was going to die there and then. but thankfully, we came out alive or smth. haha. quite freaky and scary lah.

anyway, i'm back from kl! haha k, like of cos right. it was pretty... hmm i cant really find words to summarize how it all went. but it definitely made me realize the importance of responsibility and it changed my views on certain matters lah. and i missed quite a lot of ppl while i was there too. even though it was jsut that few days!

oh and i'm pretty excited about the picnic thing tmr (: i hope that i wont like blabber some nonsense again! and ah, okay i should stop being cranky and annoyed about kelly stuff. cos its not worth it right! yes yes. anyway okay i shall go sleep now! and like add pics another time. night! 

hello!

so as a rafael nadal fan, i thought i should blog about it! i still can't believe that he lost and that he was so helpless. it was just weird seeing him scrambling around for the ball on clay. like seriously! i finally caught the match today over at benjy's house, cos he recorded it for me since my parents were watching their korean show on tv! and like i guess he has to lose french open one fine day, but i didn't expect it to be yest! and i was really damn shocked lah basically. cos i was studying for today's paper when pau called me! then i was like oh gosh oh gosh. like i guess this year we can't carry out the usual tradition of like watching the finals tgt and me, cheering for nadal, since he's not in the finals! 

but okay lah. i'm not like devastated or anything. just shocked! i guess like if it was last year, when i was a more hardcore nadal fan, i would probably be devastated beyond words. i think he's still damn cute/hot in his hot pink shirt though! 




hahah okay i realized the pictures are actually quite tiny ah! but yes, here's nadal (: my favourite tennis player ever! haha okay i'm starting to sound more and more like an obsessed fan! but yes. fine, i guess to a certain extent i am. ha.

anyway. today's paper was alright lah i guess. no matter how many times i reminded myself not to be careless, i made a few errors! 

then after that, headed home before i went to benjy's house to watch the match again then headed home to sleep before meet sim, nik, tash, dan and joyce at novena (: it was damn nice like being able to talk and catch up again cos its been awhile. everything's been good/happy lately lah, so i'm just really thankful (: haha okay i'm too lazy to upload pics from my cam, so i shall like update about the rest another time. goodnight! i shall go skype with iann now (:

hello,

so i should probably start freaking out about, now. cos guess what. there's a proj submission, presentation and two papers on the same day back to back next week. and guess if i've started doing any of those? well, the answer's no lah.

but somehow i'm quite calm about it i have no idea why. but oh wells. so tmr's another field trip. we went to chinatown on mon. but we somehow got distracted and went on a buo luo pao hunt and we ended up singing at some $10 place, which amanda woops i meant felly's a member of! hahaah. i shall start listening to more chinese songs instead of the usual few cos i realized i dont know a lot of songs! hahaha.

and i finally met up with angie and cheryl poo yest! i think poo's such a nice surname! hahaha. anyway okay i shall go sleep now. competitive world. ha. sometimes it really makes me wonder why.

one of those days when i feel the need to just run away from things cos i hate feeling annoyed at almost everything. okay not everything lah. and my day started off alright, other than the fact that i couldnt wake up and was in turn, late for lessons. but thanks felly for waiting for me anyhow. (:

then followed by coming home to sleep then i wanted to accompany dad and my family for some appt, but i wasnt allowed cos they only allow 2 ppl to go along. so i went to meet rach to give her a surprise. which made me realise how much i missed everything. like wah we've been through a lot tgt kind of thing. but i guess, people do change and it sucks, but yet, it's kind of heartwarming to know that at the end of the day, she's still the same person, no matter wat ppl keep saying.

hmm or maybe i'm just annoyed about work just now lah. but i'm feeling wayyyyy better now. thanks for listening, you know who you guys are (:

okay i've decided to not work for one week, in the attempt to catch up with ppl and work! so ask me out! dont worry my reply wont be "oh i have work". hahaha sorry, i know its damn annoying to always hear that these days. then you guys don't have to come down/attempt to come down!

but yes. for one week. then i shall see how it goes lah. but right now, i dunno why i feel that i need a break from it all. i wish i was with carmen and jayne now in perth. i hope they're fine over there.

okay i shall just go and sleep, maybe i'll feel better tmr! goodnight.

hello!


it's been awhile since i've last blogged. i'm really really glad that i'm not working today. seriously. though i would pretty much rather be anywhere but at home. not that being home's bad but it makes me worry. like i'm really really damn scared about tomorrow and i'm actually pretty thankful that i've been working so much, so that i won't have to worry/think too much. okay that's quite contradictory i guess. but yeah, no matter what happens tmr, i shall just take it as it comes and just really pray and all? i dunno what else to do honestly. i've never felt this anxious/scared/worried/nervous about smth so much before. it's almost like the day before getting back o's results yet 10000x worst. but similar in the sense that what's done is done and i really can't do anything to change the fate of wat's to come the next few months? anyway alright, enough said about it.

i finally met up with that retard and oh mala that day and also have been meeting up with meedas, like be it during work or outside. but top secret mission 101 is finally completed! i really hope the belated birthday present will be liked! (: oh and i can't believe that i'll be going for sun yanzi's concert. okay, yes i'm becoming more cheena pok by the sec but her songs are actually quite nice okay. so tiff jean and myself met up to go get the tix on sat! afterwhich i met up with jens before i went to work!

anyway so worked fri-mon closing. i dunno how people can work back to back for so many days consecutively cos it's really quite sian after awhile. the only thing i have been doing these few day is prob, come home, sleep, head to work, use the com at night and sleep again and repeat the process again. but of cos working with ppl i really like and having ppl come over's like a +++++++ point (: thanks mal, cheryl poo, daryl, shar, audrey, winner, ruiling and auntie rachel lim (HAHA) for coming down! yay i'll prob get to see shar more often now cos she works at my fav mom! thank goodness i don't need to go to the website so much, for now.
( +pictures! )


oh yeah talking about work, 21april was FCD (: and it was a really really fun day lah. it was  my first ever free cone day. so it was quite an experience. like to serve together with the sentosa people. and of cos gwc ppl! it's the first time we're all at the store tgt! so it was quite exciting.

the queue was pretty long, it occupied nearly the whole floor. and my second name was fudge brownie. i just stood there and scooped. char's one was CHOC MAC. haha i like screaming at her! its not my fault that she's so deaf. and songping's coffee or like choc! after that we headed to the usual prata place again to have supper/dinner (: my arm hurt for a few days after that from packing the pints for the ppl and from fcd, but it was worth it because it was a good like bonding thing.

hmmm FCD also made me realise that it's really time to let go of a stupid secondary school crush lah. because at the end of the day, its really dumb cos its not like we'll ever be tgt because its just gross and weird. and of cos, i'll just end up getting hurt more in a way? okay maybe not hurt. more of like getting disappointed about things. the feeling just sucks i guess. anyway yes! i also got to see so many ppl i havent seen in awhile cos they came down for FCD. like seeing them made me realise how much i really really miss talking to them/secondary school days and all. so thanks: carms, jayne, val seet, mel jiang, jiasheng, jing, jude, cand, daryl and pau for coming down. i know its a very belated thank you, but seeing you guys again made my day (:

( free cone dayyyyyy )